6 signs that your relationship could benefit from marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO

A speedometer is shown. This demonstrates aspects covered in marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO with Altitude Counseling.

If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, you don’t need me to tell you that: it’s hard work!

We all know and understand how difficult it is to make a relationship work. And yet, we still hesitate to seek marriage counseling. We try to cope on our own because we have preconceived ideas about marriage counseling. Some common thoughts are: “If we go to marriage counseling, that means something is really wrong with us!” “I don’t want to air our dirty laundry out in front of a stranger.” “It’s too expensive and it’ll be a waste of time if we end up getting divorced anyway.”I would like to take a few minutes to address these thoughts that may or may not have crossed your mind. Before diving into the signs that it’s time to start marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO, I’d like to debunk some myths.

Myth #1: My relationship has to be seriously bad before starting marriage counseling

A mechanic works on a car. This demonstrates the effort required in marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO with Altitude Counseling.

If you are worried that attending marriage counseling signals that something is wrong with you or that your relationship must be “seriously troubled,” I offer you this metaphorical reframe. Picture your relationship as a car. The longer the relationship, the more miles on the car. After so many miles get put on the car, the responsible car owner takes the car in for an expected tune-up to address things such as getting the oil changed, rotating tires, etc. No one judges you or shames you for taking care of your car, it’s one of those things that is expected.

Marriage counseling is part of being a responsible partner

Relationships should be looked at the same way – marriage counseling is a tune-up that can help extend the life of your relationship, so why not do it? Feeling reluctant to air your dirty laundry out in front of a stranger is understandable, so I want to validate that. I, as a marriage counselor, can understand people being ashamed or embarrassed to talk about some of the details of their relationship.

I will again though, offer another reframe: going to a doctor for treatment of a sexually transmitted disease may not be something people are jumping for joy to do. However, they do it because they know that 1) a doctor can help with it and 2) the problem can either be lessened or (best case scenario) completely resolved. The same can be said for marriage counseling. It may be uncomfortable to come and address. But, you are getting the help of a professional that can work with you to lessen the severity of the problems. If not completely resolve them.

Myth #2: Starting marriage counseling will cost more than our mortgage.

Wooden blocks read "ROI." This demonstrates the investment of marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO with Altitude Counseling.

As far as marriage counseling being costly and a potential waste of time, my counterargument is two-fold. Yes, marriage counseling can be hard on the wallet. However, divorces are usually even harder on the wallet. So, which would you rather fork over money for?

People often look at couples counseling as “a waste of time” if the relationship doesn’t survive after the counseling. But, hear me out. Marriage counseling does not exist to keep marriages intact; marriage counselors do not have the control to guarantee that outcome. Instead, couples counseling should create a space to address and reflect on behaviors that have contributed to the current state of the relationship. Because, even if the current relationship does not survive, we are creatures of habit. And, we tend to repeat behaviors. So, learning, reflecting on, and working to modify our behaviors in marriage counseling can help us improve the chances of future relationships having a different outcome.

Investing in marriage counseling today can help your relationship tomorrow

If you look at marriage counseling in those terms versus the success of therapy being tied to the survival of the relationship, comparisons can be made. It is easier to see how marriage counseling, regardless of the outcome of the current relationship, is not a waste of time. But, can actually be very valuable and completely worth the cost. At this point, you may still be on the fence about couples counseling. You might be wondering, “Could my relationship really benefit from marriage counseling?” Below, I have outlined 6 signs that can help you make a final decision on whether or not you should be reaching out for help.

1. Feeling out of sync with your partner

A couple sits next to each other on a couch. They are in the process of marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO with Altitude Counseling

Does it sometimes feel like you and your partner are just two ships passing in the night? Marriage counseling can help to boost feelings of closeness with your partner. And if you live in the Colorado Springs area, the couples therapists at Altitude Counseling are skilled at helping you find that closeness again.

2. Feeling like you have the same arguments over and over

Does it sometimes feel like Groundhog Day in your relationship? The same old fights resurface years and years later. Marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO can help partners discover the root cause of these fights. And, attempt to address the real issue that can help true healing happen, preventing the fights from needing to reoccur in the future.  

3. Intimacy is infrequent or non-existent

You want to be close to your partner, but you’re at a loss of how to reach out. You’ve been rejected a few times and have learned to just stop trying to hold hands, cuddle, or have sex. Marriage counseling can help partners find their way back to each other and re-kindle the fire that once burned so brightly.

4. Things are ok, but not great

Wooden blocks read "OK." This reflects concepts discussed in marriage counseling in Colorado Springs Colorado with Altitude Counseling.

Familiar with the saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” Sure, you’re not “happy” with the relationship, but you’re also not “miserable.” In your mind, the relationship is “good enough” most of the time. But, if you’re really honest with yourself, you feel that nagging feeling that things could be better. Marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO is not just for the “on the verge of divorce” couples. Marriage counseling with Altitude Counseling can help move an “ok relationship” to a much more fulfilling and better functioning relationship. Which, you deserve!

5. Distractions have taken permanent residence in your relationship

Screens are an inevitable way of life now. But, do you find yourself using your screen as a crutch? Instead of spending time with your partner, do you sit next to each other, one working on emails while the other is scrolling through mindlessly on social media feeds? When your partner irritates you, do you choose to seethe silently and play video games instead of engaging in conversation that is sure to escalate into another argument? Marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO can give you both a safe space to address issues in the relationship head-on while having a mediator to keep things from escalating to a point-of-no-return.

6. Feeling on the fence – should I stay or should I go?

The decision to end a relationship is usually not easy. There is almost always an emotional and financial risk involved. You worry if you stay, you might regret it because you settled for “good enough” only to find out years down the road that “good enough” actually wasn’t good enough in the end. You worry if you leave, you’ll learn the hard lesson of “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” You’ll miss your partner and try to go back to them, only to see they have moved on with somebody else. Marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO can be a place to talk about values and beliefs, expectations, hopes and dreams. Having conversations about these things can provide more clarity on whether you and your partner are truly compatible long-term.

Begin Marriage Counseling in Colorado Springs, CO

A couple sits together in a coffee shop. They are feeling better after starting marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO with Altitude Counseling.

Feeling like it may be time to take that next step and seek out help? I’m so glad that you came to that conclusion! Schedule an appointment today and let’s start working on your relationship tune-up. When you’re ready to begin marriage counseling in Colorado Springs, CO, follow these steps:

  1. Fill out an appointment request and let us know what’s going on.
  2. Get to know our caring and skilled anxiety therapists.
  3. Not just say that you’re “okay”, but genuinely feel it.

Other Counseling Services Offered in Colorado

Marriage counseling isn’t the only service we offer. We can see clients in our Colorado Springs-based counseling clinic or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Colorado.  Our counselors provide many services for individuals and families. They are trained in providing CBT and EMDR. Additionally, our therapists provide counseling for grieftrauma, and substance use. For families, we provide teen counselingcounseling for new mothers, and IFS.  In addition, we provide faith-based counseling and counseling for spiritual/religious struggles. We can’t wait to meet you and learn your story!

Speak Your Mind


300 Garden of the Gods Rd, Ste 200
Colorado Springs, CO 80907

(719) 428-2952

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