This is one of the most common things I hear from couples counseling and marriage counseling. In fact, it is so common that I would venture to say that almost everyone in a relationship has felt it from time to time. But, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
The more often you feel ignored by your partner, the harder it is to cultivate feelings of love and romance. Then your relationship and self-esteem begin to suffer. When one or both you feel ignored, you’re more likely to drum up conflict in their relationship. Then, arguments between couples become commonplace and feelings of resentment and hostility begin to fester. In the end, repeated arguments can be an important sign that you could benefit from counseling.
Here’s the good news, this behavior can change in easy, helpful ways with a few tweaks to your relationship. The most important thing is that you address these concerns before they become a major issue. These issues can be addressed in many ways, including counseling or learning effective communication. Today, I will share 5 tips to help you reconnect with your significant other and repair any of the damage done to your relationship.
Look for Opportunities to Listen and Connect With Your Partner During Everyday Interactions
First things first, you do not need to plan a grand gesture to show your partner you care! In fact, it’s better if you look for opportunities to connect with them in your day-to-day interactions. Turn towards your partner instead of away from them.
Here’s an example: say you and your partner spend most nights playing on your phone in bed ignoring each other. Instead, turn your phone on silent, put it on your nightstand, and ask your partner an open question. Get the conversation flowing!
Leave Work at the Office
Not working during times you should be with your partner is pretty important. Especially now when many of us are working at home. As tempting as it may be to check your phone at the table to see if that important email response has shown up in your inbox, resist the urge.
When you’re with your spouse and working (during non-traditional work hours) it may send the message that work is more important than connecting with them. And that may make them feel very hurt. If you must work, discuss it with your partner ahead of time and set limits on your time. Then, create a plan to connect when you’re done.
Here’s an example: You may have a big project deadline and you’re running a bit behind. Tell your partner what’s going on and how that makes you feel (I am behind at work and that makes me anxious). Then tell them how much time you’ll need to complete your professional to-do list. Last, tell them how you’ll make it up to them when you’re finished working (when I am done, we can cook dinner together).
Plan A Date Night (and get a sitter)
For many couples with children, it can be hard to find time to connect with your partner. Especially when you’re caring for your children’s needs. But, keeping the romance alive in your marriage will serve your entire family well. So, plan a date night with your partner. Get out of your house and away from your kiddos so you can talk without interruption.
Pro tip: try to avoid talking about your kids the whole time you’re together. Instead, talk about things you may not get to discuss like your hopes and dreams for the future.
Always Say Hello and Goodbye
When you’re bouncing between responsibilities all day it can be hard to remember to say hi and bye to your partner. But here’s the thing, coming and going without saying hello or goodbye to your spouse takes away a small moment to connect with them. Remember, taking the time for little moments like these will make both of you feel good.
Begin Individual Counseling in Colorado Springs, CO
You have the power to improve your relationship! Our caring therapists would be honored to provide you a safe place so you can work through your relationship issues. We offer support from our Colorado Springs, CO-based counseling practice. To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
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Other Services Offered in Colorado
Couples counseling isn’t the only service offered by our Colorado Springs-based counseling clinic. Altitude Counseling is committed to helping you find what might be missing. Our team of counselors is trained in providing CBT and EMDR. We also provide counseling for anxiety, bereavement, trauma, and substance use. In addition, we provide teen counseling, counseling for new mothers, and IFS. If your concerns are of a religious nature, we provide faith-based counseling and counseling for spiritual/religious struggles.