he
Being the leader of a business can be difficult. That’s why it is important to find ways to communicate effectively with your employees. One way you could do this is by using validation techniques. Validation helps people feel that their contributions are valued and respected in your organization. Furthermore, it helps them feel seen and heard by you as an individual.
This blog post will help provide specific tools that supervisors or employers can use to communicate successfully with employees even in stressful situations!
Validation as a Daily Tool for Supervision
Validation can be used in nearly every conversation you have with your employees. It is important for employers and supervisors to set the tone in their organization so that all employees feel valued.
There is no doubt that you will need to have difficult conversations with your employees sometimes. Maybe you need to give constructive feedback about an employee’s performance, or maybe the conversation is much more personal. The important thing is that no matter what type of difficult conversation you are having with your employees – they feel seen, heard and recognized by you.
Validation also helps you set up a safe environment for them to share their thoughts and concerns. It can make it easier for them to accept your decisions or fully hear your feedback.
Some specific ways to validate your employees include:
Pay Attention
When you are listening to your employees, try giving them your full attention. Don’t be distracted by other things around you while they are talking – turn off emails and phones if necessary. Look at them in the eyes when they speak (if it is appropriate) instead of looking down or away from them all together. This shows that their thoughts and feelings matter to you!
This one might sound easy at first. But we all know that in the day to day world of running a business, it’s not always easy to actively listen. Often, what the employee is talking about may feel less important than the ten other things on your plate they don’t know exist. But to this employee at this moment, what they are saying matters.
Example: You are trying to meet a deadline by 5pm tonight for a big project that will eventually benefit your entire team. An employee comes into the office at 1pm saying that you need to step in and help with an urgent situation. You immediately know their emergency isn’t as important as you meeting your deadline. But you start by looking up from your computer. Then, you lean forward to listen to them for a full two minutes while they explain their problem. You are actively listening. And, your body language shows you are taking their problem seriously. After they finish speaking and you give them quick advice about how to solve the problem on their own, they know you fully heard the issue. This way, they can feel good about the advice you gave.
Reflect Back
As a manager or employer, it is essential to make sure you understand your employees and their concerns. So when someone shares with you how they feel about something regarding the company or work-related topics of conversation like compensation packages for example; reflect back in your own words what was said without repeating word verbatim but rather summarize so that there are no minute details missed from either party’s perspective on an issue at hand .
Example: An employee describes several “fires” they have had to put out today. Essentially, they weren’t able to get anything they planned to get completed today done because they were too busy solving new problems that came up. You respond, “Wow, sounds like you have been really busy today.”
“Read Minds” or Notice the Unspoken
If you want to be a really effective listener, it is important that not only do you listen to what the other person is is saying, but also what they’re not saying. You can use your intuition here. Also, consider any information from past conversations or interactions with them as well to do this effectively. This type of validation is the act of understanding fully what someone means rather than just hearing their words.
In other words, this level means guessing what you think the bigger issue might be or what else is going on. Don’t be afraid to be wrong here. Even if you don’t fully understand, this gives them an opportunity to clarify.
Example: If a team leader is explaining several issues they’ve had with an employee and you’ve had past conversations about this same employee, you might say, “It sounds like you’re having to devote a lot more time to Jim and he’s really struggling to keep up with the job.”
Show Understanding for Where They Are Coming From
This level is where you use your understanding of what could be contributing to their emotions and WHY THEY might feel this way…even if we wouldn’t feel the same situation. You are considering why they experience these feelings using both your knowledge about them as well as the situation. In essence, you are showing you understand the complete picture.
Example: Your employee is asking for your advice about how to answer an email. The email looks fine, but they’re clearly anxious. You know last week they responded to a similar email but said some inaccurate things they had to go back and correct later. You say, “You are worried about sending this email because of what happened last week.”
Acknowledge the Valid in What Your Employee is Saying
I love this level of validation because it’s really, truly acknowledging that how they feel is valid. You can use phrases like, “Everyone feels this way.” This is all about noting that their feelings are real, “normal” and valid. I use this level with my employees as often as I can.
Example: One of my employees recently told me they were exhausted. Truthfully, everyone was exhausted because we were a little short staffed and everyone had taken on extra responsibilities. I responded, “You’re having to do a lot of extra work this month and it’s overwhelming.” Sure, I could have insisted that everyone else was also stressed. But the important thing here was acknowledging that those feelings were totally understandable in the situation and recognizing that individual employee’s experience of being overwhelmed….while we worked hard to solve the problem.
Show Equality & Be Radically Genuine
This one is all about treating your employee as an equal person. As a supervisor, it’s our job to be professional in all of our interactions with employees. However, employees still need to feel like you are “real” and they are valued. Therefore, it can improve an employee’s job performance even more when they realize you are treating them as an equal. That you value and respect them. So, this one is about being “real.” Sharing a little of yourself in an appropriate, professional way.
Example: On Monday, your employee asks about how your weekend was. The truth is that it wasn’t so great. You had family drama and felt stressed all weekend. So you answer, “Honestly? I was ready for Monday to come.”
Putting This All to Use in Supervision
It’s tough to be a supervisor. You have so many different responsibilities and sometimes it can feel like your employees are just another task on the list. But, you can make things easier for yourself (and them) by remembering that validation is important in all relationships…Even (or perhaps especially) in the workplace. Think about how often you want people to validate what you say or do; now think of how often they probably do the same thing with their friends, family members, partners – even strangers! Why should your relationship with an employee be any different? Start using these validation techniques today in both every day conversations and the difficult ones and see you notice any change in how your employees interact with you.
About the Guest Author
Jessica Tappana is the busy owner of two business (Aspire Counseling & Simplified SEO Consulting) and understands how stressful it can be to manage employees…especially when they only see a small portion of what you’re doing on a regular basis. Jessica uses the techniques she learned to help counseling clients to effectively communicate with all of her employees and enjoys sharing these tips with other busy professionals.