The first few times the idea of starting marriage counseling enters your mind, you talk yourself out of it. You likely told yourself you don’t need it. You may have abandoned the idea out of fear you’ll receive blame for everything. Or, you didn’t follow through since sitting in a stuffy room talking about relationship issues seemed like another chore. One you didn’t want to add to your to-do list.
We’ve heard all these myths about marriage counseling or couples therapy before. In fact, most couples we’ve met have a shared version of these concerns before they contacted a therapist. So, today I wanted to break down these common myths about marriage counseling. I hope you’ll consider contacting a therapist to help better your relationship.
Myth #1: Marriage Counseling is Only for Couples in Crisis
One of the most common things our clients say after a couple of sessions is that they wish they’d come in sooner. And, to be honest, so do we! It’s a lot easier to work through minor relationship issues before they turn into major problems.
Marriage counseling is NOT only for couples in crisis. Most couples therapists would tell you that it is very beneficial before a crisis. All couples, even the most glamorous ones, have their fair share of issues. But, successful couples know how to navigate their disagreements and communicate effectively. When this communication breaks down, conflict occurs.
The Longer You Wait to Address These Issues, The Worse They Become
Poor communication can even lead to other serious issues. This could include a lack of trust, intimacy, infidelity, and separation. Wouldn’t you rather address your issues before more serious ones like these occur?
A great example of the power of preventative marriage counseling comes from former President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama. In her memoir, she discusses the transformative power of marriage counseling. She inspires other couples to put in the work and see a couples therapist.
Myth #2: You’ll Get Blamed for the Issues in Your Marriage/Relationship
While I can’t speak for all couples therapists, I can say that most try to stay as neutral as possible. They try to avoid placing full blame on one partner. This is important because it helps us do our best work in therapy sessions. But, there are times when neutrality is not an option, like when abuse is occurring in a relationship.
Now, I can’t say that you will not feel a sense of guilt when issues are uncovered and discussed. But, I hope that you will work through these emotions with the help of a supportive couples therapist.
If you’re curious to know what approach your therapist takes to be neutral and avoid taking sides, ask them! They will be able to articulate their stance. If it doesn’t align with your needs, then there’s no shame in admitting that! You can always ask for a referral to a different clinician. Finding a therapist that you can work well with is essential to your success in counseling.
Myth #3: Marriage Counseling Will Feel Like Another Boring Chore
Marriage counseling does not have to be boring. And, It does not have to be something you’ll dread doing every week. Of course, some sessions will be better than others. There will be weeks where you’d rather be doing other things, or weighed down by thought. But, most leave marriage counseling feeling better and lighter than when they arrived.
You’ll talk about the hard things. But, you should have fun too. A good couples therapist should be able to balance tough discussions with coping skills. They should also have take-home activities to strengthen your relationship with your partner. Together, you can create a sense of renewed intimacy.
Relationships Take Work, and Marriage Counseling Takes Work Too!
You may feel like marriage counseling is a boring chore. Or, you leave your sessions feeling unfulfilled. If this is the case, then it’s time to find a new marriage counselor. As I said earlier, if you don’t enjoy working with your counselor, then it’s hard to make progress. If you don’t want to go to therapy, you’re less likely to see your treatment plan all the way through. As a result, your issues will likely reappear even worse than before. I implore you to find someone who has a clinical style that meets the needs of your unique personalities. Find someone who makes counseling feel like something you actually want to do!
Begin Marriage Counseling in Colorado Springs, CO
If you live in the Colorado Springs area and are looking for marriage counseling, we’d love for you to call our counseling practice. We have a team of dedicated therapists ready to help you and your partner work through your challenges. Together, we can build a happy and successful relationship. To begin counseling in Colorado Springs, CO follow these steps:
- Complete an appointment request
- Get to know our caring therapists
- Start cultivating a stronger relationship between you and your partner
Other Services Offered at Altitude Counseling
Marriage counseling isn’t the only service offered at our Colorado Springs, CO-based counseling practice. Other mental health services offered include depression counseling, trauma therapy, counseling for emotional neglect, PTSD treatment, grief counseling, and anxiety treatment. We also offer online therapy in Colorado, and therapy for men. For more information, feel free to visit our FAQ or blog page!